Ends Unearthed
by MorganLeFay33
Summary: A headcanon, time-hopping glimpse into Clare's very tragic backstory


**Ends Unearthed**

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><p><em>So here's my first Happy Valley fic! It's a bit like the <em>_headcanon-ish thing I wrote for Last Tango In Halifax ("In the Back of My Mind"), so I hope it's not too confusing! I do know, however, that I've created something really sad. I tried to imagine a bit of Clare's backstory…so yes. Very sad and kind of dark. You've been warned! Sorry! :-)_

_xoxo_

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><p><strong>2013<strong>

"You know, the scrotes, the dropouts, the numpties with nothing going on in their lives, you can…not condone it, but you can more easily see it, get it, understand it almost..."

Catherine was fixated on the road, rambling fretfully as she often did nowadays. Clare watched her from the passenger seat, trying to let it slide off of her, struggling to keep the sudden pang from surfacing in her facial expression.

"…but someone like him, apart from the hypocrisy…"

Clare couldn't listen to it any longer. She looked down at her hands. It was possible for her to quell most of the anger, but the hurt slipped out anyway.

"Yeah, well it takes all sorts, doesn't it," Clare interjected softly and coolly. She quickly glanced out the window, wishing they were anywhere but inside a car. She wanted to walk away, to close a door behind herself so that she wouldn't have to bite back tears as she always did.

"No, I didn't mean you. I wasn't thinking about you." Catherine appeared unfazed and unconcerned, unaware of her sister's discomfort. "You just…got in with the wrong crowd, didn't you."

Clare dragged herself back into the present and focused back on the conversation at hand, shoving "nothing" out of her mind.

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><p><strong>2008<strong>

_Clare rolled over and found that the breathing beneath her was heavier and thicker than she'd imagined in her sleep. She must have passed out on top of Peg, and the larger woman's snores were so loud that Clare could swear the windowpanes rattled each time the earsplitting sounds racked the room. Then again, she couldn't tell what was still and what was moving, let alone what she was hearing. Her vision was blurred and she could barely see the clutter on the table through the dark, hazy tunnel before her. She dropped down onto the carpet, wincing slightly at the shard of glass that sliced through her trousers and brought a tiny spot of blood from her knee. _

_She'd dreamt of herself at Tesco, her hands nestled on the handle of the trolley next to another pair of slender hands - two rings, unsanctioned, but sparkling nonetheless - sparkling in clear contrast to the white floor and the baskets of shining vegetables and the crisp coolness of the air conditioning. _

_She felt her whole body heaving with sobs, and she held her head in her hands, gripping bits of her oily, grimy hair and tugging until she felt a pinch of pain. At least it was something. Remembering that she was remembering, she cried harder and rocked back and forth on the floor, desperately trying to make it all dissolve. She felt a thud on the side of her head and heard a man's annoyed, gruff snort. It must have been a hand, but whose she did not care to find out._

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><p><strong>2013<strong>

The door suddenly flew open again.

"You know, you really ought to start thinking about finding your own place to live."

The snapping voice and second slamming of the door didn't surprise Clare at all, but the words plunged deeper than Catherine could have ever known.

Clare remained standing, frozen and yet shaking, swaying, her balance faltering. Her chest ached with a heaviness she hadn't felt in years. She knew that tears were brimming, and she knew she wouldn't stop them this time. This time she wasn't inside a car.

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><p><strong>2000<strong>

_Clare rolled over and grinned at the sight of the woman awakening beside her. Her dark hair fell gently over her eyes, her breathing calm and steady and her movements so still that Clare could never tell whether or not she was even in bed without turning to watch her. The sleeping beauty squinted reluctantly at the sunlight streaming through the windows, and Clare chuckled in utter adoration. Her wife always was a sleepyhead in the mornings. _

_"Come here," she mumbled. _

_Clare lifted the bed sheet ever so slightly so that she could snuggle up closer to her, sighing when their warm bodies met and she could finally lift her eyes to gaze into the other woman's kind brown ones, She glanced downward briefly as her wife laid her hand on her stomach and kissed her softly. _

_"Guess what?" she whispered impishly. _

_Clare bit her lip and smiled, her heart fluttering with uncontainable joy. "What?"_

_"As of today, you're eight weeks in, love. Two months."_

_Two months. She had forgotten. There was nothing like having someone to remember the things she forgot about herself. _

_"Two months" Clare murmured in awe. "Two months!"_

_They stared at one another very seriously for a moment, neither one making a sound until they both erupted into a fit of ecstatic giggles. They wrapped their arms around one another and embraced tightly, and Clare suddenly had a thought. _

_"We're going to be a family. A real family."_

_Her wife kissed her nose and nodded, reaching out to admire her smooth blonde hair. "We're going to be parents," she whispered elatedly. "And do you know what parents do together?" The brunette woman suddenly raised an eyebrow and laughed mischievously, moving herself on top of Clare and pinning her into the pillows. _

_"Hmm? What do they do? Tell me," Clare whispered in her ear seductively, feeling herself grow excited at the thought. _

_Her wife pressed a passionate kiss to her lips, slowly pushing Clare's nightdress down over her shoulders until she started to hum in anticipation. _

_"They…buy groceries together!" She burst into laughter and jumped up out of bed, throwing on her dressing gown and slippers. _

_Clare sat up incredulously, unable to stop herself from laughing as well. "Are you serious?"_

_"Course I am! Get a move on!" She briefly leaned back over to kiss her wife again and assured her in a low, sensual voice, "Don't worry, Clare Bear. We'll pick up where we left off after we get back. We need milk for our tea, don't we? Come with me? Please?"_

_Clare looked into her adorable, pouting face, feeling her heart swelling with love. She grumbled and smiled in spite of herself, taking her wife's hand and standing up reluctantly. "Oh all right. But only for the sake of tea…"_


End file.
